Overheard in Shanghai

from expensive birthday gift to Korean tourists

I am not sure about others, but I overhear a lot in Shanghai. The city is perfect for that: narrow roads, cozy coffee shops and restaurants, and a lively street scene. Unlike Beijing, where I often worry whether I can cross the street within one green light, Shanghai’s intimacy lets you easily catch fragments of conversations — and many of them are never dull.

Here are some snippets I’ve noted over the past six months — ranging from the unmistakably pretentious side of Shanghai to the everyday conversations of families going about their lives.

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Crazy rich kid. At a fancy shopping complex in suburban west Shanghai — where many international schools are clustered — a teenager with a school backpack walked by with her mom on a weekday in June.

• Teenager: “Dad said he’ll buy me Blancpain watch for my birthday.”

  I looked it up because I had no idea. It seems like the average price for a Blancpain watch is around $20,000. In this gloomy economy, at least someone is making serious money. Good for them.

Another stereotype: the heart of Wanghong culture. Walking past a popular Japanese restaurant in the former French concession area at 5pm on a weekday in June

• Customer (getting a waiting number): “how long is the wait?”

  Staff (expressionless): “Two and a half hours.”

  I often borrow this restaurant’s restroom since coffee shops with facilities are scarce in the area — so I’m grateful for that.

Bloggers never let you get bored. Late June, at a coffee shop near my apartment, the couple next to me had just finished a jigsaw puzzle of themselves skiing together. Later, I learned they had been recording videos for two hours, probably for their fans. As they wrapped up printing the puzzle, the baristas came over.

• Me : “Wedding photo?”

  Girl: “No.”

  Me: “Customized on Taobao?”

  Girl: “Yes.”

  Me whispered to the barista in Chinese: “I hope I wasn’t being rude.”

  Were we supposed to say “You guys look so cute?” instead? And yes, this one is less overheard and more like conversations with strangers, which I will write more in the next Substack issue.

People say, more dogs are being walked in Shanghai. One afternoon in June, a young woman sat on a bench outside a coffee shop, her small, adorable dog curled up beside her.

• Me (like every other passer-by): “So cute.”
  Woman: “Do you know what breed he is?”
  Me: “Mixed?”
  Woman (looking a bit annoyed): “How can he be mixed?!”
  Me: “Then what breed?”
  Woman: “It’s Xishi — a pure Chinese dog. In imperial times, consorts and Empress Dowager Cixi all had Xishi. They don’t move much; they’re perfect for holding.”
  Me: “How did you get him?”
  Woman: “I bought him for 10,000 rmb!”
  Me: “Okay.”

  Now I know about imperial cats. But…bought him..and for 10,000 rmb?

Father-daughter moments. On a metro train one Tuesday evening in May, a father in a casual T-shirt video-chatting with his young daughter, who sounded about seven.

• Father (in a soft voice): “I’ll send the two gifts tomorrow.”
  Daughter (baby voice): “Great.”
  Father: “I’ll be home on Children’s Day — in a couple of weeks.”
  Daughter: “Okay.”
  Father: “Wait for me. Sleep early. Listen to your mom.”
  Daughter: “Okay.”

  The father’s quiet guilt about not being home with his daughter could be felt by everyone on the train. Shanghai isn’t just a city for influencers; it’s also a city of hard workers and dreamers.

Grandpa-grandson afterschool moments. One evening in May, down a tiny alley, a grandfather was picking up his elementary school grandson after class, carrying his school bag for him.

• Grandson: “Will we have claypot rice and fried pork cutlet?”
  Grandpa: “We only have congee.”
  Grandson: “Do we have pickled vegetables?”
  Grandpa: “The canned ones in the fridge, yes.”
  Grandson: “Do we have mangoes?”
  Grandpa: “I don’t know, ask your mom.”
  Grandson: “I’ll eat durian then.”
  Grandpa: “Just make sure you eat it outside.”

  (They probably live in an old lane house.)

  That’s a slightly hungry little boy and an emotionally steady grandparent! I can just imagine the boy’s mind drifting off to food planets while the teacher recited classic Chinese poems.

Son preference. At a hotpot restaurant downtown in May, a woman was dining with a man — seemingly on a date.

• Woman: “My mom always loved my brother more.”

  The man’s response was covered by the bubbling and sizzling of the hotpot. Whether the woman had forgiven her mom or not, I wanted to hug her — though I reminded myself this wasn’t a conversation meant for other parties to listen in on.

500 rmb for real or not. Around the same time, at the National Exhibition Center subway station, a man was on the phone with a woman.

• Man: today’s business is okay. I have earned 500 rmb. Also it was not too tiring.

  It’s probably a good day for him — unless he was just comforting his family. Either way, we hope he has many more gigs in the days to come!

Live K-drama. Around April, at a coffee shop, a woman was talking to an old college classmate

• Woman: “I might need to have a third kid — because my husband wants one… but also, just in case he ends up having a love child in the future. I want to make sure my kids gets the assets, not some other woman’s. After that, I’m making sure my husband gets sterilized.”

  I actually fact-checked this one by going through my Instagram story archive. I mean — anyone would stop whatever they were doing at the moment and immediately share that conversation immediately after hearing it, right?

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Beyond those, there was the usual stream of “talk of the town” chatter — things like the wave of Korean tourists earlier this year (which, to me, felt warmly welcomed by Shanghai, even though some memes and videos were created, mostly harmless), new bistros opening (or closing), concert tickets selling out, or everyday gossip about dating, coworkers, family drama, and holiday plans.

Bigger topics made their way in too — transgender issues, international headlines — stuff everyone seemed to have a take on. When it comes to domestic news in particular, I actually enjoy picking up tidbits from strangers before I talk about them with friends. It’s a small reassurance that these stories aren’t just algorithmically sent to netizens far away — and that at least some people around you care.

Coming up next: real talks with Shanghai’s strangers.

Want to guess the recurring topic wet market vendors have been discussing with me?